At home, in Miami, there is a man I used to love. He is a nice-enough guy. Cares for me as a person, depends on me...but he doesn't love me like a man who loves a woman. He doesn't reach out to touch me. We don't kiss. I don't think there is any part of me he has any physical interest in. I doubt he thinks I'm pretty. Despite all of that, I've continued in the relationship with the hope that things will change for the better. They haven't. If anything, they've gotten worse.
In the midst of all of that, a man from my past has been trying to pop up into my life. Saying the things I was wishing someone would say, telling me he wants to touch me in the ways I've been lacking...Proclaiming that he loves me.
To someone feeling love-starved, to have someone say they love you and want to prove it to you you, that's a big and important thing.
So what do you do? Do you leap and hope for the best? Do you stick with the status quo and hope for the best? Or do you say "fuck that" to both options and start off on a completely new path to the love you deserve?
Option C is sounding the best right now.
How to do it?
Say no, first of all. To being loved less than you deserve. To being the object of someone else's satiation, while ignoring your own needs for satisfaction.
Say no to those who would try to claim you for their own selfish purposes.
And, by saying no, open yourself up to the possibility of Yes.
Yes, there is someone who will understand your brand of crazy and love you for it.
Yes there is someone who yearns to touch you in the ways you need to be touched.
Yes there is someone who will gladly claim your heart for their own and protect it to their last breath.
Yes you deserve to experience this person. To relish this. To love this.
Sometimes, for love, you have to make the leap. And sometimes you will leap too early or too late.
But I have to believe that, eventually, that leap will put you right into the path of the person who has been waiting forever for you.
Be blessed.
Love,
L.
