Superheroes aren't born - they are bred thru adversity and bronzed with fire

The last couple of years of my life I've taken some beatings; some were of the self-inflicted variety, while others - various foes to the cause. I've always known I was different - not special-different. I just don't see the world like other people do. In a job interview, someone once asked me what I wanted to do with my life... I thought about that question probably longer than I should - I didn't get the job :) - but I remember that my response was something like 'I want to help as many people as I can'.

Sounds a bit self-righteous, right? Like I've got a complex of some sort...

Thing is, I don't. Not really. But what do you call someone you meet who really and truly wants to help you out? Who can't stand to see an innocent person suffer? Who will stand up for the little guy but won't save herself?

I used to think the word would be "punk".

Now I feel that there is a reason for it all, for the odds and ends of knowledge I've picked up over the years, for being able to see what the depths of love can push you to, for finally knowing what my limits are - and realizing that I am the one who sets them.

If you set a man on fire, he screams for his life, begs for someone to put him out of his misery, waits desperately for rescue. But I have watched videos of people who set themselves ablaze. Not a word from their lips... It is the acceptance of the act and its consequences. A reason for the madness...

Not advocating hari-kiri here... I know better than to try to jump back aboard a sinking ship. But I can choose to save myself, to accept that if I'm going to set my world ablaze, the match has to be in my own hand.

It is one of the things I've always been fascinated by - the legendary phoenix. Everyone knows it will rise from its ashes - but first it has to burn, down to the very essence of itself, with faith that all will go as it should, that rebirth will occur.

Can you live your life with faith like that? Not a life without fear -because that's just bull shit. I'm talking a life where you believe, with absolute certainty, that the life you want for yourself can only be created or destroyed by your own hand, if you are willing to jump into the fire...

I'm ready. Who's with me?

-Asha