I wanted to try each day and find something wonderful about every day this month, as a way to remind myself that life, even when shitty, is worth living. It was hard today. Got knocked back a bit by a new adventure. Tried to start a new one - with horrible results...
But I did have fun today.
Today I remembered that there are things I am good at. Doesn't seem like a big and shiny thing, but when you pair that with my life the past three months (downs, bigger downs, and holy shit - you're still alive and kicking???), remembering positive things about yourself serves two functions.
You remember that, despite the fact you can't seem to catch a break - you're a smart cookie. You can think on your feet. You can put people at ease and pull others out of their shells. And people react to your smile. Use that. Not everyone has that. So be grateful you do. Also - it gives you a bit of your power back. When you move between begging for help and holding onto your pride, you start feeling that you have no control of your life. You feel helpless, powerless...but you aren't. And the only person who can remind you of that and make you believe it - is you.
Today I am grateful to be still standing. Smoldering, dirty, definitely beat up and bloody - but still fucking standing...
In a zombie apocalypse movie, that would pretty much make me the hero, wouldn't it?
<3
-Asha
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