Bigger than Me

What do you do when you are faced with the reality of your life, the fact that, despite what you sometimes wish for, it never seems to go back to what you, in rose-colored hindsight, believe it was. When you can no longer protect the feelings of those who've only recently begun to care about yours...


I've faced some pretty crass things with a forced smile on my face.


But that's energy I no longer have to waste on stupid people.


My life is moving forward very quickly. There are loose ends to be tied up and clipped. My heart fills daily with a hundred new things.


I'm a lionness.


Now comes the time when, after taking such an intensely personal look at my life, I have to decide how much more there is left to do - or if I'm ready to graduate to the next stage of all of this...


I think I'm ready.


I've learned so much with this blog, in the actual writing, and the feedback I've gotten.


You all helped me recover myself and my joy. I wouldn't be where I am - still dreaming, breathing, hoping - if you hadn't given me the courage to be Asha.


Now I have to find the courage to be Latoya.


I haven't a clue who she is yet.


I have a sort-of role model, someone famous only slightly older than me, that I like to emulate every once in a while. She kind of did a fierce and fabulous thing, choosing to chase her dreams, to make them bigger, stronger, more important, while loving someone who loved that about her. She chose to not be scared. To put herself out there. To not just discover her passion but to allow the experiences of her life to create new passions...

That's the woman I will be.

I think it would be best to end this blog - for good - with the promise that I have become the learner I needed to be. And someone I can believe in. I'm walking forward into my life with the understanding that if I wasn't quite a bit scared, I might then be quite a bit stupid - and that's something THIS woman definitely is not.

I'll miss you beloveds.

All of you - every single beautiful one of you.

Thank you for everything.

Catch you in dreams.

<3 Yours Always,

Asha

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Follow the new blog at theverymiddleme.blogspot.com

-L.