That's what I am doing right now. I don't know if it's the healthiest thing or the right thing. I do know that my heart is not even ready to think about healing. So now it becomes making a new habit, to forgive myself, every day, for any failures I have during the day, so that I rebuild my sense of worth. Once I've done that, then I can start working on my heart. And after that...who knows? But I can recognise that I have been mean to myself for weeks, sure that an errant thought or text or expression of love was the cause behind the abandonment. But even if it was, it's no excuse. Especially when I was here. To explain, to apologise, to make amends. But now all I can do is wish him well and love and put my heart to the side. It hurts like hell. But if it didn't, I would worry that it wasn't as big as I know it was.
C'est la vie.
Je t'aime.
Xoxo,
L.
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