Last two posts were pretty soap-boxy for me. I guess they were things I needed to say, though not necessarily things you needed to read about... not apologizing, just saying that I noticed.
Lately I've been finding inspiration in all aspects of my life. In meeting up with old students of mine, in my dreams (very vivid lately), in music, in movies, even in TV commercials. But the biggest inspiration in my life is the one I don't talk directly about, because its too new and too private and too special for me to blog about...
Let's just say that, apparently, God still has lots of surprises in store for me in this life. My heart is wide open, as are my eyes, but I have yet to see something to turn me away. Instead, I feel alive, head-to-toe amazing for the first time in a very long time. The timing sucks, the potential for hurt is huge, but, like I have taken to telling people, you only live once.
I find that when I sit and think about where I am today as opposed to a year ago, its almost like I am thinking of someone else. There is love in my heart for my ex - he will be there forever and I make sure he knows it. But my heart, previously broken too many times to count, is an amazingly resilient thing. It expands as it heals, makes room for more in my life. It beats and reminds me that I haven't died, that I'm still young enough to bounce back, and since when did I give a flying fuck about rules anyway?
So here I am, being cryptic as heck, because its never my intention to cause anyone pain. But I have been blessed with something more in my life. It makes me laugh at everything, smile at nothing, and dream...
Decided that I should get off my soapbox, stop dwelling in the past, and return to making it work every day. I don't know what the future holds for me, whose hand I will be holding in ten years, whose child I will share, where I will be, or who else will belong to my heart. But I'm ready for it. Whatever it is.
So come on Universe... Bring. It.
Maluhia!
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